Hi, everybody! As I had mentioned on my previous post, I started reading the book “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend a couple weeks ago. Reading this book was bae’s suggestion, and it seems fitting considering that I am latin and therefore, obviously lack the typical “American boundaries.” Since I started reading this book, I have realized that it is true that Latin American families are extremely intertwined, and have difficulty saying no to family or creating space for individuality, I guess. I can understand where the authors are coming from, and it has been interesting to see what this looks like for society in the States, where people seem fiercely protective of their rights and independence. Something else that was interesting about this book was learning more about what the Bible has to say about boundaries.
To be honest, it was difficult to get through the 302 pages in less than a week due to the depth of the content the authors were discussing. It is clear that they are very knowledgeable and eager to help people live a fuller, more satisfying life. They include many examples and areas in which boundaries are nonexistent, though desperately needed, and explain the negative consequences this has in the emotional, physical and spiritual areas of life. The book thoroughly deals with boundaries in friendships, dating relationships, work, marriage, raising children, and much more and gives practical advice on how to develop them. It is a good thing that there are more books that explain some of these areas – dating, marriage, children – in a more specific way, since just one chapter could hardly be as effective. It was hard to really grasp all the concepts and try to apply them to my life while trying to finish the book as quickly as possible.
What I liked the most about the book was how comprehensively these psychologists assessed each person’s situation not only psychologically but also spiritually, and therefore were able to help them in specific ways instead of providing a general solution that doesn’t necessarily help everybody. I also appreciated their honesty; they never claimed establishing boundaries is easy and quick, they actually insisted it was quite the opposite. Nowadays, people are attracted to easy ways to get what they want without having to wait of put effort into it, but these authors didn’t sugarcoat their product in order to sell it. If you are interested in learning more about yourself and how different interactions have shaped your personality and interactions with people, you’ll probably like this book.